In Dan Barber's The Third Plate, renowned farmer Klaas Martens visits a Mennonite farm where he notices something interesting: these farmers never adopted the use of rubber tires on their tractors (which helps farming be faster and more efficient). After observing these farmers periodically, Klaas one day had the courage to ask one of the Mennonite bishops why they didn't use rubber tires.
The bishop responded with a simple question: 'When do you start raising a child?'
The bishop suggested that 'child rearing begins not at birth or even conception, but one hundred years before the child is born, because that's when you start building the environment they're going to live in.'
The rubber tires were symbolic in this instance of prioritizing profits over the relationship with the land. It leads to the inevitability of monoculture farming, further large machinery, and degradation of the soil. Farmers become less intimate with their farms and thus lose the essence of farming.
Juxtaposizing parenting with farming is actually quite the apt comparison. Both are about nurturing, understanding, and responsibility. For farmers, allowing the soil to fallow, promoting crop diversity, and tending to the land with care every single day are what allows us to reap the fullest flavor, intensity, and joy of a crop. Investing in and nurturing the quality of the land is what allows crops one hundred years later to be as unique, flavorful, and dynamic. Similarly, showing tenderness, self-love, and patience are just some things that help us become the best parents. It's the continued effort of being your whole self that you can be that person for your future child and be a beacon of inspiration for them.
This made me reflect on my life so far. Am I ready to be a parent? What am I doing to plant the seeds of success for my future child?
Not more than two years ago, I was egotistical, arrogant, and impatient. Those qualities would really hurt my relationship with my child. I've worked hard to overcome those challenges to be more understanding, and every day I continue to work towards a better example for what my future child could be inspired by.
The children we plan to raise we must care for early on even before they’re born. The lifestyle we live, the people we know, the relationship with our spouse and much more will all affect how a child grows up. Their confidence, their relationships, their forgiveness. All these qualities start with us and our own relationships - with ourself and with others.